(Cue Beethoven’s Seventh Symphony, 2nd movement (allegretto))
Wow. What a year. They say 13 is unlucky for some, and in many ways this has been the case for me and my family. Or least former family. If such a thing can be said.
This has been my annus (careful now) horribilis and no mistake.
At the beginning of this year, I filed a petition to divorce my wife. While we rarely ever fought, we had both agreed that the marriage was no longer sustainable. So in early February I sold off our wedding rings to pay for the divorce and the paperwork went into the local court system later that month. My ex-wife moved out in early March and I’ve been living alone ever since. Thankfully everything was amicable and we still remain good friends. The divorce was never motivated by money (or power), and we have now gone our separate ways – except on a few occasions to sort out material matters.
Adjusting to a single life hasn’t been easy, and at one point I went into stereotypical batchelor mode by surrounding myself with TV-related gadgets. I took myself out to the cinema each week (by myself), did my shopping on a weekly basis in person rather than having it delivered – and buying branded products as well. I perhaps indulged in a bit too much cider and takeaways at one point (seemed like a novelty at the time), but I’ve now got a firm grasp on that and am enjoying my own cooking once again. Combined with the fast paced walking and yoga, I’m losing the weight put on by bachelorhood and am beginning to feel a lot better for it.
During that dark phase (which thankfully only lasted a month at most), I thought I would start seeing people, so I tried dating a couple of times between April and May. I met three nice ladies, but ultimately we never got much further than three dates. One felt that I wasn’t independent enough because I don’t drive, the other – well, she turned her back on me at one point (she liked people watching, she said) and we never spoke to each other again, and the third was promising but ultimately we were both unsuitable for each other (she felt I was coming on too strong, and her body language told me that she wasn’t interested – friendship would have been awkward for us both). So I gave up dating after that. Perhaps I wasn’t ready? I don’t know.
Add to that my employers had moved further away from Guildford which meant earlier starts in the morning to be able to catch the connections required to get me to work. That said, it has been working out really well. While I’ve not been cycling, I have been power/speed walking and it seems to be getting me fitter and losing weight – especially as I’ve made further changes to my diet as well. A long way to go still, a work in progress, but something seems to be taking effect.
Last month I tried dating again – I’m not sure why, but having subscribed to The Times (which I like to read while I drink my coffee at the local Costa in Guildford), I felt I should give their service a go.
After being contacted by much, much older women (72, 53, etc.) I was about to give up until I saw somebody living locally that caught my eye. We seemed to share similar tastes and experiences. To cut a long story short, we seem to like to each other and we’re taking things from there. I cannot tell you how things will work out from this point onwards, but I’m learning to take things very much more slowly and carefully.
2014 is looking like it will be a better year. Better in many ways – hopefully better in love, better financially, better in health, happier and more content with a better life/work balance too. I’m mending bridges that I’ve burnt over the years, and looking to re-establish friendships that for whatever reason, were lost. 2014 is about getting my life back in order. Back on track. Trying to be a better person.
It’s a bit too early for a round of “auld lang syne”, and I’m not looking to forget old acquaintances, but here’s to a prosperous new year!
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